Reorganizing a life...

Did you ever wake up one day and wonder how things got to where they are today? I recall as a child wanting something much different than what I am today. It does not deter me from my current goals, but it is hard to tell at what times my life diverged from its intended course at that time. Unfortunately all those divergences have not been positive steps for me. Occasionally I come to these realizations and attempt to reorganize things to be more balanced and directed.

How does one begin to reorganize that which at times appears hopelessly mired in mediocrity? Where does a person begin when the pieces seem so scattered, or maybe the pieces are the wrong ones to begin with? Often times when approaching a large task, I tell people to just start somewhere, because once you get going you will eventually end up with something manageable, but it are those first steps that often seem the largest leaps.

My hope is that over the next few months I may begin to migrate more toward goals I feel are more in tune with the direction my life should be heading. Whether that be physically, intellectually or emotionally, but gaining a positive foothold would be nice. My wish is that there are those around me that are praying and thinking of me, for a life surrounded in silence can sometimes be lonely.

Reconciling my roots...

At times in my career I have been asked to conduct interviews with possible new employees. I often choose to begin the interview with introducing myself and explaining my position with the company. I follow up that brief synopsis with the invitation to "Tell me a little bit about yourself." It is interesting how most people use their "home" as a anchoring point of the conversation. Many times this point of reference is in fact their place of origin, or place they grew up as a child. This fascinates me due to the fact I also use this line of progression when describing myself. Why do I continue to identify myself with a place and lifestyle that is going on 7 years removed now?

Since I moved from Kentucky I have graduated college, become a fixture at my current company, and have regrounded my faith. My horizons have broadened significantly and I am far from the young lad that ventured from a small town into the metroplex that is DFW. Yet I still believe that there is some of that small town kid inside me and interestingly enough, I take great comfort in that fact. I often long for a simple life, one not mired by the complexities of today, but instead joyous in the peace around me. It would be nice to just sit out on a porch for a while on a swinging bench and enjoy the afternoon. Yet I find myself constantly being pulled further away from this ideal.

Much of my life is dedicated to the company for whom I work, and much of my off hours I concern myself with thoughts pertaining to the future of the company. I don't stop to see the sun go down, I don't listen to the rolling thunder of rain showers, I don't visit the countryside. I live amongst concrete and iron, and I'm complacent in this fact. Yet sometimes I catch myself looking into a glorious morning sun. I am caught by the soft whisper of and evening breeze. I see the joy in a childs face looking upon his father. At those times I reconnect with my desires and wants for a simpler life. I hope that one day my current pursuits will afford me these luxuries and the time to indulge in them, but until then, I will continue to drift from my roots as I fall deeper and deeper into the malaise of city life.